This is your dating superpower
Social Momentum removes your inhibitions just as well as alcohol.
Plus, you save yourself the money, the hangover and the misfortune of acting like a belligerent idiot.
Maybe you have realized on a drunken night out that women like you better without your inhibitions.
Suddenly, it’s easy to unleash your inner charisma. You can be bold. You can show your relaxed playful spirit. You can flirt shamelessly!
In short, you’re FUN.
Yet, this liquid confidence only lasts for a few hours, until you start drinking again.
With social momentum, you can teach yourself to feel like this ALL THE TIME with no negative consequences.
If you currently feel unable to approach and flirt with beautiful women without a few beers inside you, this is the guide for you.
How to build social momentum
Social anxiety stems from the false beliefs that something awful will happen if you talk to someone.
The best way to overcome this fear is to disprove this belief as quickly as possible.
As soon as you enter a venue (or better yet after you leave your home), go and talk to a stranger.
Speed is the key to building social momentum. The longer you wait, the more your brain gets comfortable in an anti-social state, the more it makes excuses for you not to talk to someone.
That’s why you should go speak to the first person you see, whether that’s the bouncer at a bar or an old woman on the bus.
There should be no goal to the conversation apart from saying something and having them acknowledge it. It’s fine to just ask for the time or how their day is going. Even if the conversation feels a bit forced and awkward, you’ll realise nothing awful happened and that’s a WIN.
The next step is to start a conversation with someone else as quickly as possible. Again, you’ll set no goals for the conversation other than having it. And again. And again.
As you continue to show yourself that nothing awful happens, you’ll naturally feel the confidence to stay in the conversation a little longer. You’ll slowly feel more comfortable being more expressive, funny or flirtatious.
Before you know it, you won’t think twice about approaching that stunner at the bar and showing off your full uninhibited FUN personality.
Building macro momentum
Using the steps described above, you could meet a gorgeous woman at the bar tonight, and impress her enough to take her home.
However, if you’re new to the idea of approaching women while sober, it could maybe take 10-15 approaches or more before you start to feel comfortable.
Then, even if you do take a stunner home, it’ll probably take just as long to tap into that social freedom the next day.
Overcoming social anxiety is a skill that takes time to master. It’s no different to driving a car or playing the violin. But, if you keep practicing regularly, it gets easier and maybe you’ll eventually only need one conversation to shake off the social cobwebs.
This is how natural introverts can transform themselves into trained extroverts.
Social scientists suggest it takes 28 days of action for a new activity to become a habit performed without resistance. That’s as true of cold-approaching people as it is of flossing or a morning jog.
So, why not set yourself a four-week challenge to flirt with two new women every day? That will do so much to boost your social momentum on a macro level, even compared to meeting dozens of women on the weekends.
At the very least, get in the habit of interacting with the staff who serve you throughout the day. Cashiers, waiting staff, taxi drivers etc. They all tend to appreciate smalltalk from customers, and it’ll help keep your social momentum going.
Failing that, call a friend every day to see how they’re doing. This is especially important for those who rarely interact with people as part of their job. If you’re one of them, you’re probably stuck in anti-social momentum, and that’s what’s causing you to freeze up whenever you spot a woman you’d like to meet.
How to reach a social flow state faster
The peak of social momentum, where you lose all your inhibitions and even your sense of self, is often called ‘flow state’.
When you reach this peak, it’s as if you’re high while sober. It’s very addictive.
It can be a slog to get there though, and that’s why most people prefer the shortcut of using alcohol or drugs.
Here are some tips to help you reach a social ‘flow state’ faster.
- Limit time between interactions. Don’t give your brain time to get comfortable or to make excuses. Focus only on finding the next person.
- Aim to give not take. After you make an approach, your #1 goal should be to give someone a good time. Don’t think about what you can get from them. With this one mindset shift, you’re the social guy who is spreading fun, instead of the creep trying to pick someone up. Now, no-one is going to be upset if they see you ‘spam-approaching’.
- Don’t judge yourself harshly. Remember, there’s no goal other than starting a conversation. That’s a WIN. If they react badly that’s on them, not you, so there’s no reason to judge yourself harshly.
- End each conversation on a high. This will inspire you to jump into the next conversation as soon as possible. Even if someone tells you to go away, you can still leave on a high by shaking their hand or joking about the situation.
- Remember the first approach is always hardest. That’s even more reason to get it out the way as soon as possible, and to only ever judge it as a WIN. If you keep going, it’ll only get easier.
- Push yourself. Finding an appropriate difficulty level is a part of reaching ‘flow state’. You need something that’s challenging, but not too difficult. A professional tennis player won’t reach flow state playing against a nine-year-old, and neither will the child. You can reach a social flow state by looking for interactions slightly outside your comfort zone. Seek out people, groups or scenarios that intimidate you just a little bit. When you do this, your comfort zone will naturally expand over time.
Social momentum will change your life
Life’s a breeze when you’re in social momentum.
You lose all insecurities. You lose your fear of approaching women. And when you do approach, it’s easier to unleash the fun side of your personality.
Social momentum might inspire you to drink less, because you won’t need alcohol to connect with people.
On top of that, you’ll find yourself feeling less restricted and more willing to express your authentic self throughout your day-to-day life.
Cheers to that!